Are people who work with insurance companies merely psychotic, or are they actually agents of Lucifer?

Summarized conversation on the phone yesterday:

Satanella says, “Yes, yes– everything will be taken care of. We’ll pay for all everything your daughter needs. Can you hold for a second while I flay this other person’s soul off their back?”

“Um…sure.”

:hellmuzack:

“All right, Mrs. Roberts. So, like I said, we’re not going to be able to pay for anything but the hospital stay.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, that’s our policy. Because there are a hundred cardiologists in our network…”

“Do you understand that this is an infant?”

:brief pause:

Satanella says, “You’ll have to locate the doctor yourself, of course.”

“Because it makes sense that we would be able to convince a completely strange doctor who knows nothing about our case to drive from Northern Virginia, where there are no facilities to perform open heart surgery on an infant, to a hospital in Charlottesville, to see a patient who is due in less than a month. Without a referral.”

“Don’t forget you’ll need to change your obstetrician, too…”

“Klaatu verata nicto, sweetheart.”

:sound of strangling on the other end of the line:

“Please hold.”

:hellmuzack:

“Mrs. Roberts, like I said, we’ll take care of everything.”

“You haven’t taken your meds today, have you? Can I get that in writing?”

“Deepest Ry’leh! City of madness and ensorcellment!”

“No, IN WRITING.”

“Yes, yes. Of. Course.”

Shenanigans! Shenanigans, I tell you! They pull this stuff on people whose psyche is already worn down to nubbins. Seriously, why don’t more insurance company executives wind up getting whacked by torked policy holders?