This weekend, our congregation got together with thirteen other congregations in the area to meet, greet, and frustrate one another, and to listen to the counsel of some of leaders.  We call this Stake Conference; the ‘stake’ part of it is supposed to evoke images of a great tent, being held in place by stakes.  The tent is the kingdom of God; and each Stake, or collection of congregations, does its part to make the tent wind-worthy.

It was an edifying conference this time around. I usually (and stereotypically) reluctant beforehand, but I’m always grateful to have gone.  At the very least, it offers people-watching opportunities I don’t usually have.

Thus, the light-hearted poem below, inspired while I waited for conference to start this morning:

Hymn on Stake Conference Sunday

O God of empty seats, with your never failing eye
Search me out a place to sit whereat no baby cries
Forsake thou not my family, but give to them their share
Though if it be not near to me I do not think I’ll care…
Give to me a row that is not too cold nor hot;
A quiet and a cushioned chair, an most exalted spot.
Choose me out a seat, the speakers all to hear.
And of the untuned singers, Lord, let them come not near.
Not next to the smelly ones, be they adult or be they child.
And keep the chatterers lips from me, and the little rugrats wild.
Not too near the pulpit, Lord, for I should fear to sleep.
Choose thou for me a comely spot, where I can think thoughts deep.

My son, a spot there is for you, a comfort for your soul
Where no one comes to fret, and silence in waves unfolds.
A place you know quite well, in fact, and I promise it isn’t far–
You’ll find the peace you seek, my boy, sitting in your car.

🙂

For those of  you more secularly minded, I offer the following: