http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontan_procedure

It’s 18 days to Tiptoe’s next open heart surgery. The Fontan procedure is the one I think I’ve been anticipating most since she was born. Anticipating here means, “dreading yet desperately wishing for.” Because it’s the last thing they can do to put her heart in a position to keep her alive; any surgery after this one is going to be either to correct mistakes made during the Fontan, or to transplant her heart.

There are no other options open for her; it’s a successful Fontan or…bust.

Of course, it’s been that way this whole time– her life has ALWAYS been on this edge. I’m just recognizing it again. It only feels new and painful now because I’ve forgotten how raw and agonizing it was the last two times. Let me say: thank goodness for faulty memory.

We’ve been staring this one down a long, long time. I’m anxious about the approach.