Originally published at Thus Sayeth the Lord…. You can comment here or there.

I read Christopher Paolini’s Eragon a few weeks ago; I finished Eldest, the sequel to Eragon, this morning.

I have had my vocabulary enhanced.

These are two of the most poorly written books I have ever read. Not poorly plotted, mind you– just poorly executed. Paolini’s style is one part Tolkien, one part Claremont, and nine parts insipid. Inconsistently archaic dialogue (I don’t mind archaisms, but they have to be constructed and used regularly), and $50 narration makes for poor communication. At times, I could not tell whether ‘Eragon’ was in homage to ‘Aragorn,’ or to ‘Argon’ (that last is in reference to Jim Theis’ ‘Eye of Argon-’ another shoddy work that gets panned for the same reason I’m panning Paolini’s).

It’s as if Paolini sat down with a thesaurus, and at every opportunity, decided to use a word NO ONE FREAKING USES ANYMORE. “Let’s see… Aragorn–ooh, wait, I mean, ‘Eragon felt the dragon’s muscles…’ Muscles? Muscles, hmmm. I wonder if there’s an archaic synonym I can use for that, something that will make me sound…erudite. Boy, I love that word. Eru-dite. Eru. Oh my Eru! Hmm. Oh, yes, back to muscles… let’s consult the thesaurus. -Saurus, hehe, that’s like a dragon! Saurus. Funny. Oh, right…muscles. Let’s see…THEWS! FREAKING BRILLIANT, PAOLINI! ‘Eragon felt the dragon’s thews…”

In Eragon, the usage of this type of language was excusable; I’ve heard rumors that Paolini wrote it in high school. Or wrote parts of it in high school. But by Eldest, SOMEONE should have told him, “Look, Paolini– you don’t SOUND smart at all, writing like this. You sound like a git.”

But if anything, Eldest is worse than Eragon. Much, much worse. Muchly much much, oh ever so much much much worser. It’s as if he learned NOTHING between novels, and instead ADDED useless imagery to the list of sins from his first book! What did he do, go to the Robert Jordan Academy of Kamikaze Writing?

To compound the problem, Paolini makes an attempt at settling religion. It’s disastrous. To set up a comparison, he introduces us into dwarf society, which apparently is highly religious. Eragon is escorted around a dwarven church, introduced to statues depicting the dwarven pantheon. Tiddy-boom. Nice little nod at religion, but nothing substantial. Later, Eragon’s Elven teacher, Oramis and he have a discussion about the elven religion. Rather, the lack of an Elven religion. Elves live forever; no need of an afterlife. Elves have magic to do all they need to do; no need of a God to perform miracles. This would be fine except that Oramis then goes into why his beliefs are better than religious ones.

His reasoning, if I recall correctly, goes like this: The Goode Things that the athiestic Elves do are “better” because they do those Goode Things without fear of God and out of a sincere desire for the benefit of their fellow beings. Inferring, I suppose, that religious people ONLY do good things because they’re afraid of a higher power laying the smack down on them.

Which is nonsense. I wound up being more disgusted by Oramis’ thoughtless diatribe against religion than in the whole of Pullman’s ‘His Dark Materials’ trilogy, which purports the same thing. At least Pullman respected his readers’ intelligence enough to lay groundwork, foundation, logic, and reason into it. As a religious person, I don’t mind i
f you dismiss my beliefs, but don’t lie about them. And if you want to enter a dialogue, let there BE a dialogue.

If Paolini wanted to start to treat the subject honestly, a representative from the Dwarves should have been present. There IS one available; Oramis and Orick (Eragon’s dwarven companion) could have had a debate. But Paolini plows the subject matter under with typical heavy-handedness.

The elves weren’t ALWAYS immortal; and they didn’t always have magic. What were their beliefs before they met the dragons and gained all this power?

NOW…despite all this, Eragon and Eldest are good yarns. Style isn’t everything. Intellectual honesty isn’t everything. The books are filled with action and swashbuckle. Additionally, there are some good devices here– most impressive is a blessing gone wrong. (Ah, but the execution of that is just SOOOO muddled!)

My advice is to check these out of the library– don’t buy them. They’re worth a read, at least. Paolini is an important author in that he is on of the YA writers that’s capitalizing on the success of JK Rowling, and the resurgence of fantasy literature. His books are being read by thousands of impressionable fans. If you’re a writer, you need to know about his mistakes so that you don’t fall into them; and you need to understand that style isn’t king. Even a terribly written story can triumph if it has convincing swashbuckle.